


Keeping a comfortable distance

by Bianca9013



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Romance, Roommates, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:18:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5046382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bianca9013/pseuds/Bianca9013
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roommates AU. </p>
<p>Ian and Mickey are roommates etc. You know the drill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeping a comfortable distance

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Paramore- Only Exception. There are also references in the fic from other Paramore songs. 
> 
> It's not much, just something I wrote because I was hella bored.

Mickey hated waking up early on a Sunday, yet here he was, eyes open, slurs coming out of mouth like he was at a football game. He threw the covers on the ground furiously and got up from his bed. He stormed out of his room and made sure to make his presence noticed. He went into the small living room and looked at the people responsible for the noise.

“Oh Mick, did we wake you?” his roommate and friend, Ian, said with a stupid grin. Mickey growled at him.

“Yes you fucking did, fuck you very much. You know I like to sleep on a Sunday, it’s barely 9 am, what the fuck?”

“Oh calm down Mickey, it’s not like you can’t go back to sleep” this time Ian’s little sister decided to answer.

“For your information Red, no, I can’t go back to sleep. The fuck are you even here? Don’t you have your own house and family to annoy? And why is junior dipshit asleep on the couch?” he asked and pointed to the other brother, Carl.

“We came here late last night after you were already asleep. Frank decided to pay us a visit again and he and Fiona got into a huge fight and we decided to crash here” Debbie answered. Mickey looked over at Ian who shrugged.

“Fine. Only because Frank’s being an ass again.” He said and went over to where Ian was “Is there any coffee?” he asked the taller redhead. He nodded and made room for Mickey to pass.

“Thank you” Ian muttered and Mickey just nodded. He knew the shit this family goes through because of Frank fucking Gallagher. He understands better than anybody else. His father was the same, maybe even worse if you add “homophobic asshole” to the list.

He grabbed his mug, poured coffee in it and went to find his cigarettes. He found the pack on the fucking floor, he took it and grabbed one from inside. Because the couch was taken by a sleeping teenager he opted for the very uncomfortable armchair next to it.

“Mick, rent’s due tomorrow. Make sure you stop by Stan’s apartment tomorrow before work and give him the money, you know how he gets when we leave it for the last day.” Ian said from the kitchen area.

“Yeah, yeah, I remember. The fucker knows we always pay it. We’ve been living here for what, 2 years? He should stop complaining by now.” Mickey said with his cigarette between his lips.

“Oh and Ethan’s stopping by later, if you don’t mind” the redhead added.

“Why the fuck should I mind?” Mickey asked but didn’t bother to turn around and face the man.

“Because you don’t like him Mick. You think I didn’t notice or something?” Ian said and this time Mickey did turn around with a huge grin on his face

“That’s because he’s a fucking moron” he said without hesitation. Debbie let out a snort but covered her mouth when Ian looked at her.

“What?” she asked her brother but he only rolled his eyes.

“You both suck” Ian said and walked back to his own room, most likely to put some clothes one. He never wears shirts to bed and that only makes it harder for Mickey, pun intended.

“You are such an idiot Mickey” Debbie said as she came over. She grabbed Carl’s legs and made room for herself on the couch. The boy didn’t wake up.

“Why the fuck?” Mickey asked confused.

“You clearly like Ian and you’re clearly jealous of that Ethan guy” she said with a smug look on her face.

“I am most certainly not jealous of him” he responded in a second

“But you do like Ian”

“Fuck no. I mean, as a friend, yes, but not what you think. The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Whatever Mickey. Keep denying it all you want but one day it will be too late and you’ll be sorry you didn’t do anything about it when you still could. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go take a shower then I’ll wake Carl and we’ll leave.” She said and got up.

A few minutes later Ian was back in the living room and saw that Mickey looked distracted

“What’s up with you?” he asked the brunet man.

“Nothing. Didn’t sleep well. You going out?” he asked

“Yeah, I’m going back with the kids, see if everything’s ok back home.” He said and looked for his shoes. Mickey just nodded.

Mickey kept looking at the tall redhead who was struggling to untie the knot from his shoelaces. He always found himself watching Ian when he did things like these. If Ian ever knew this he would think he’s a fucking creep. He wasn’t sure when he realized he fell in love with Ian, maybe back when they were still living on the south side and they were still in school, maybe when they moved in together because Ian suggested it. He said it would be better for both of them because this way they would save some money. Mickey accepted without hesitation but it wasn’t because of the money thing. It was because that way he would spend more time with the redhead, even though he would never admit that.

Mickey didn’t do relationships because he was fucked up enough, he didn’t want to fuck other people’s lives as well. His friendship with Ian was everything and he would be dammed if he was going to do anything to ruin it. Even if that meant for him to bottle up whatever gay feelings he had and keep them to himself.

Mickey knows how life is, he never met one single person who managed to be with the same person their whole life, not one. Why would his life be any different? They live in a fucked up world, with fucked up people who have fucked up lives. Yes, he loves Ian and because he loves him he’s not going to do anything about it. Because in Mickey’s mind, that’s what’s best for Ian. Mickey hates himself so much that he thinks he doesn’t deserve someone like Ian. He got used living like this, always keeping a comfortable distance between them.

Besides, Ian has his own problems. Fucked up parents, fucked up childhood, fucked up life. He didn’t need Mickey’s problems as well.

“Mick, you look like a constipated zombie. What’s with the blank face?” Ian asked as he waved a hand in front of Mickey’s face. The brunet snapped out of his thoughts

“What?”

“I said you look like a constipated zombie, what’s wrong with you?” Mickey laughed a little at the choice of words Ian opted for

“Don’t make me laugh. I’m mad at you.” He said and the redhead frowned

“Why?”

“Because you woke me up again” he said and pouted like a child. Ian rolled his eyes. Just then Debbie emerged from the bathroom.

“Someone wake Carl up while I clean up in here” she shouted from the other side of the apartment

“Yo, shitface, wake the fuck up” Mickey shouted and threw a magazine from the table into Carl’s face. The boy growled and opened his eyes

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t you have manners?” he asked half asleep. Mickey laughed

“No, I don’t even think I fully understand the word. Now get up, your sister wants to leave” he said again and Carl tried to get up.

15 minutes later they all managed to drag him out of the apartment and they left. Ian said he would be back later. Mickey closed the door behind them and went to take a shower himself.

2 hours later there was a knock on the door. That was fucking weird. Ian had keys. He went and opened the door to see a tall blond man standing there with a bored expression on his face.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Mickey asked equally bored

“Ian said I should stop by later, it’s later” the man said so Mickey just shrugged and made room for him to enter the apartment.

“Well Ian’s not home yet so you can wait for him or whatever” he said and closed the door. The guy nodded and took a seat on the couch.

Mickey went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge and then went into his room without a word. He wasn’t going to keep the douche company. What Ian saw in him, Mickey would never understand but whatever.

He hears the front door open 20 minutes later. He figures it must be Ian. He hears them talking and he even hears Ian laugh at something. Why couldn’t he just get the redhead out of his head? He just loves everything about him: his voice, his smell, his smile, and just him. He just wishes he knew how to quit thinking about him.

This was just torture, fuck this shit. He got up from his bed after what seemed like hours and decided to just go and visit Mandy. He can’t stay here knowing the fuckhead is here as well.

“Going somewhere?” Ian asked when he saw Mickey was looking for his keys.

“Yeah, going to see Mandy, later faggots” he said and walked out.

When he was out of the old building he lighted a cigarette and started walking to Mandy’s apartment. Thank god it wasn’t too far away. He got there 10 minutes later, stepped inside the building, took the elevator, stepped out, walked to the door and knocked.

“Fuckface, what are you doing here?” his sister greeted with a smile

“Got tired of listening to Ian and his boyfriend talking so I decided to come and annoy you” he said and stepped in. She just laughed.

“He’s still with that shithead? When are you going to be man enough and tell him how you feel?” she asked and locked the door.

“Fucking never” he said and threw his jacket on the chair near the door.

“You’re stupid. Got any smokes left?”

“Yeah, they’re in my jacket pocket” he said so she nodded and went to grab them.

“Give me a lighter” she said so he searched his pockets for one and tossed it over “Thank you, gay person” she said and tossed it back after lighting the cigar.

“Fuck you” Mickey said.

He stayed there for a few hours and then decided he would just go back home. If the douche was still there then he will have to deal with it.

He entered the apartment and saw that no one was there. He locked the door and looked around. He shrugged, threw his jacket on the couch and went to his room. A few minutes later he heard a knock on his bedroom door. “Yeah” he shouted. Ian poked his head around the door and gave him a weak smile. He looked off.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” he said and Mickey nodded “If he calls me” he said and threw his cellphone into Mickey’s lap “answer and tell him I’m sleeping, ok? Or anything you want” he said and waited for a response.

“Uhm ok. Is something wrong?” the brunet man asked but Ian only gave him a small smile and he said a “no” then closed the door and left to his own room.

Mickey kept thinking about this for an hour. Should he go and see what’s wrong with him or something? He decided he should. He stepped out of his room and went across the small hall to Ian’s. He knocked softly and when no one answered he pressed the door handle and opened the door.

The redhead was in his bed and he clearly wasn’t sleeping because Mickey saw he had his eyes open

“What’s wrong man?” he asked as he approached him

“Nothing’s wrong” he answered a few seconds later. Mickey sure as hell didn’t believe him so he jumped on the bed next to his friend.

“Yeah, and I’m Captain America” he said and looked right at him “Ian, I know you since you were a skinny 15 year old who fucked his married boss. Believe me, I know when something is wrong with you.”

“It’s Ethan, he’s complaining about me working at that club. Said it’s not a good job and that I should find something more …. decent.” he said the last word in a mocking tone.

“He’s still complaining about that? Man, you’re bartending at a club, what’s the big fucking deal? At least you have a job and you’re not living on your parents money and use the fact that you go to college as an excuse for not working” Mickey said and he saw a small smile appear on Ian’s face. He also muttered slowly a “You look pretty” and he saw Ian frown. He knows he couldn’t have heard him.

“What?” the redhead asked

“I said you look shitty” Mickey lied. He also made sure Ian heard clearly this time. The redhead rolled his eyes. “C’mon, don’t stay in bed and mop all day, let’s go watch something” he said and pulled the covers off of the taller man.

“Fine, but I’m choosing” he said and got up.

 

******

 

“I will kung fu kick you off of this couch if you don’t stop bouncing your damn leg” Mickey complained after an hour.

“Fine” Ian said and stopped. 5 seconds later he started again and Mickey growled.

“The fuck has you so tense anyways?” he asked the freckled man

“Keep thinking about what Ethan said” Mickey sighed but Ian continued “He told me that it’s either him or the job”

“Look man” he said and paused the movie. “If he makes you choose between your job and him, then he’s not worth it. If he really loves you he won’t make you choose.” He said and placed a hand on Ian shoulder. Ian nodded.

“You never make me choose between anything” Ian said after a few seconds.

“Exactly” Mickey answered without even thinking it.

“So, does that mean you love me?” Ian asked and Mickey froze. What should he say now, that yeah, he loves him, like a brother?

“You know I care about you, you’re family” he decided this was good enough. He heard Ian sigh.

“That’s all?” he asked and Mickey decided to look at him. The redhead had sad eyes and Mickey could even see a hint of disappointment there.

“What kind of stupid question is that?” Mickey asked without even realizing how harsh it sounded.

“Nothing, forget it ok?” Ian said and got up “I’m going back to my room” he turned around to leave but Mickey grabbed his sleeve.

“Wait the fuck a minute. What was that all about? You think I don’t care about you or something? Ian, you’re my best friend” he also got up right in front of the taller man.

“That’s just it right? That’s all I am and all I’ll ever be. Doesn’t matter that I’ve been in love with you since I was 16. It will never matter because I’ll always be just your stupid best friend” he said. Mickey’s eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open. He wanted to say something but words didn’t come out. His mouth was just dry with words he couldn’t verbalize.

“I…I have to go” Mickey said and looked for his jacket and keys. He grabbed his shoes and bolted out the door without a word. He heard the door open when he was on his way to the staircase

“Yeah just run away from everyone that loves you, from everything, like you always do” Ian yelled after him but Mickey didn’t bother to turn around.

Anger was boiling up inside of him. Why was he always such a stupid ass? He waited for so long to hear Ian say that and now that he actually did it he got scared and ran away like a pussy. He stopped a few floors down so he could actually get his shoes on and not carry them in his hands. He also put his jacket on and continued walking. He had no idea where we would go.

 

******

 

It’s been a week since their little “talk” and ever since then Mickey made a habit of coming home from work and going straight to his bedroom and not coming out until the next morning. On the next Sunday, Mandy came over after Ian called her.

“He’s refusing to come out and he won’t talk to me at all.” He told her as she entered the apartment.

“That’s just how Mickey deals with problems. He shuts himself down, he makes a bed in the deepest hole he can find and hides there until he rots. He was never good with confrontation.” She said and turned around so she could go and see Mickey. But she turned back around “He does love you, you know” she said with a small smile.

“Yeah? He has a funny way of showing it then” Ian said sarcastically.

She stepped inside her brother’s bedroom without even knocking. She closed the door behind her.

“The fuck you want?” he asked. He was sitting at his desk watching something on his laptop.

“Never mind what I want. What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Sitting here and watching stupid shit while Ian’s out there worrying why you won’t talk to him.”

“I’m guessing he told you why I’m in here. Until now I was ok with everything, with keeping this to myself. But now that he actually told me he feels the same way it’s even worse” he said

“Why?”

“Because” he said and flipped the laptop screen so it was closed now. “Because I can’t be with him”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to ruin him. He’s doing great now that he doesn’t live in that shithole anymore. Why would he need a fuckup like myself in his life?” Mandy couldn’t help but laugh

“You do realize that you were part of his life ever since he met you, right? You’ve been living together for 2 years, the fact that you add sex to the equation won’t change much. You basically already are a married couple. You just don’t want to do this because you are scared to let someone in, you’re scared you’ll feel vulnerable or some stupid shit like that.” She said and Mickey just rolled his eyes. “Did you take your time this week to notice that he has a black eye?”

“What?” Mickey asked

“Yeah, he told Ethan 2 days ago that he won’t quit his job for him so the douche punched him and then broke up with him”

“The fucker did what?” Mickey asked and stood up from the chair. “He’s so no getting away with this” he said and grabbed a hoodie.

“Where are you going?” Mandy asked

“I know where to find the fuckhead” he said and left the room and the apartment before any of them could stop him.

Mandy didn’t know why but she didn’t tell Ian where Mickey left.

“Do you think he’ll come back anytime soon?” Ian asked and looked at the black haired girl next to him. She just shrugged.

“I’ll go. If he comes back try and talk to him again, I think I may have convinced him to reconsider” she said

“Yeah, the storming out of the apartment convinced me too” he said sarcastically.

“Be careful fuckboy” she said and kissed his cheek then left.

 

******

 

“What the fuck Mickey?” Ian asked when he saw the older man enter the apartment with his nose bleeding.

“Don’t get scared and shit, it’s just a bleeding nose” he said and jumped on the couch with a loud growl.

“What the fuck did you do?” the redhead asked as he took a seat next to him and grabbed his chin so he could inspect the damages.

“Mandy told me the fuckhead punched you so I went and punched him back. I saw that he was already bruised up but I thought he deserved one more”

For some odd reason Ian didn’t say anything. He just got up, went into the bathroom and then came back with something to clean Mickey’s face. A few minutes later, Mickey was somewhat ok now so Ian placed all the stuff on the table in front of the couch and turned back to the brunet.

“Why did you do it?” he finally asked.

“Because” was all Mickey said. He kept looking at his hands.

“Because you love me?” Ian asked

“Fuck you, I don’t” Mickey answered but Ian just snorted

“Just say it again and this time I dare you to fucking mean it” he said with a smirk.

Mickey didn’t answer but instead he grabbed the bottom of Ian’s shirt and dragged him down to his own face and kissed him. Ian was surprised by this but that didn’t mean he wasn’t glad about it. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss. He could still taste Mickey’s blood and he loved it. Suddenly, Mickey stopped and looked at Ian

“Does that answer it?” he asked and the redhead smiled

“Nope” he said and Mickey laughed

“Fine, I love you. You happy?” he said and rolled his eyes.

“Of course I am” Ian answered and kissed him again.

Mickey never believed love can last. But this time he was on his way to believing.


End file.
